Already Gone...

Already Gone…

I never came to hurt Sonic….I would never hurt faker after all we'd been through. Everything seems so pointless now. After he said "Good Bye…" To me…I think I realized something. That no one would ever really care about me. I think I was an idiot for trusting Sonic with not only my heart, but all my emotions. He had been controlling my life…and as soon as I broke away…he left me.

I felt my chest start to ache. Maria had explained this kind of pain to me before…

***

I looked up, only to see Maria's sweet smile. "W-why does my chest h-hurt so much?" I asked confused to this new kind of mental pain. I'd never experienced something so powerful and painful. "Where does it hurt, Shadow?" Maria asked in that sweet angelic voice that gave me hope everyday…it made me believe in people…give some of them a chance. I placed my hand over my heart, feeling its rhythmic beating lulled me a bit. "Oh, silly, that's a heart ache…you get it when someone you love hurts you." She said smiling still.

***

And then that memory faded….just like everything else in my life. I felt tears threaten to fall. Why had he left me? What had I done? Was there even a purpose to breaking my heart?  I guess not…you just felt the need to hurt me. Well, congratulations, I'm broken.

I stare down at the knife I've placed right over my chest, right where it hurt. Right where the pain was. Right where he had hurt me… But, Sonic, I love you enough…to let you go. You never have to see me again. You never have to act like you care. You never have to pretend. Not for me…never again.

I feel used…abused…neglected….hated…all the emotions I know so well-they're coming back now. You've brought them back. You forced these emotions on me again. I was prepared to go my whole life without ever feeling them again. But I opened up to you…I let you love me…and I've paid the price…the ultimate price…. I'm paying with my life, Sonic….

I let you mess with my feelings-I LET YOU!! Why did I let you? Why…. Well, now you never have to see me again…I'll make sure of that.

And, Sonic? You're quite a good actor…for a while there, I actually thought you cared. Silly me.

How many times have I thought of suicide? Many times…but, Sonic….he threw me over the edge. He's the one who got me to point this knife at my heart. And you know what? I'm going to kill myself this time….for being so stupid…for thinking you ever cared…for loving you…

And now-with that knife plunged deep in my chest, and I heaved in for each breath-each vital breath-I realized…I regret nothing…

And then I see you run into the kitchen…worry, sadness, panic…all over your face. But you're to late, Sonic…


I'm already gone…